By now you all know the magpie: his presence looms large over my life here; as a kind of omega, someone that organises me and disperses me, someone I cannot help love. But there are many other characters that have some stake in my life in Ghent. There is of course Alexandro – the geologist – a good friend and councilor, housemates like Artay and his girlfriend Dinah, whom I live with, as well as work friends, and more recently Danilo – a devilishly clever, Machiavellian type from Argentina. For Danilo everything is reducible to a question of motivation and desire; but thankfully he is easier to engage with than Lacan (though probably more difficult than Jung). In any case he is certainly most welcome food for the brain after I have run the numbing endurance test of work at the pub.
In the ramshackle house that I have come to call home we make quite a cobbled-together, modern family grouping that many of you will recognise from the post-university fallout. The magpie and I, Dinah, Artay and our house dog, the golden retriever Sparky (also known as Barky). We try our best to keep on top of domestic chores but in reality it is a constant battle against domestic entropy, as we are all (perhaps with the exception of Dinah who has Protestant-Germanic roots) inherently untidy people. In general, that’s how I like it; spaces should be free and natural and not coercively arranged. We unfold, we express and generally everyone is very happy, especially since the kitchen juicer has appeared.
But let me clear some space on the table now and move the musty wine glasses to one side. I want to write some more about Artay, because he is quite an exceptional person, whose wisdom has done much to shape and colour my experience of this city.
I call Artay a modern-day aphorist. Why should that be? Because Artay, more than anyone I have ever known has a habit of formulating pithy, concise statements of moral and social truth that have epigrammatic power . As a professional boxer who has experienced many sides of life and lived all over the world, someone who knows people of all social levels and once told me that there is nothing that he has not tried; I have more faith in his feelings about the universe than most. And he is also an actor – an artist, one who realises the potency that words can carry and is prepared to see and say the things that others fear to. What is the nature of the truths that he points out to me? There are not always benign. I remember him once speaking of a lesson that he gleaned from watching a drama-documentary about the Vikings. The lesson was this: often if you speak out too soon about the things that you wish, you will never obtain them. It is better to conceal these desires and let the stream take you to where you want to be. Only when you are in the right position to act should you do so – not before.
Many of his lessons and beliefs about life have a fablesque, maxim-like force. They are also often premised on one of his favourite activities – boxing – and thus are often framed in martial terms, or at least make use of it in a metaphorical way. One of the most memorable things he said to me, he learnt in the ring. What was it? That to be big, you must first be small. Why? Because if you are big you are an easier target, if you are small you are harder to attack. Another memorable aphorism: we were discussing the Adam and Eve myth. It prompted this reflection from him: It is strange, when you think about it, that it was the apple that Eve ate and that is mentioned in the Bible. It is not a very sweet or rich fruit. It could have been a peach or a pear. An apple is not so appealing. So why did Eve take it? There can only be one real reason: because it was forbidden, and only because it was forbidden by God. It is amazing that humankind are so attracted to what is forbidden, and only because it is.
Whenever Artay feels like sharing his feelings about life my ears are always open. Thus, when one afternoon, I climbed the stairs to his attic-room in need of a chat and some advice, I was very receptive to his words. Often his teachings go against many of the ‘liberal’, romantic or humanist values I have been raised on, but for that reason they are very interesting to hear. That day we spoke extensively about love. Artay imparted some of his knowledge to me about mankind. He said, it is a sad and amazing thing but often when you give ten, the people give you back one. To illustrate his example he spoke of a group of acquaintances he met at a socialist club. As a friendly, open gesture, when someone asked him for a cigarette, his threw his whole packet down on the table. Take what you want and need, he said to them. He thought no more of it. But later, much later, one of those people brought up this incident with him. Why did you throw your cigarettes on the table like that? There was something in this gesture that repulsed them, that incurred their contempt or suspicion. It was too much. They started questioning his motivations. Ergo, he gave ten out of the goodness of his heart, his return? One. But, he said later, it is amazing and counter-intuitive that often, when you give people one, they give you back ten. Your indifference or detachment excites their interest.
I don’t generally have much time for psychological game-playing. It is cynical and not my thing. But neither does Artay – it was merely his observation – he observes human nature. Perhaps he is right. However, later, in a more benign frame of mind, he offered to translate a paragraph that his friend – an Iranian poet- has sent to him on the internet.
It was originally in Farsi, but his translation was so beautiful, that afterwards I asked him to repeat it and rushed to write it down.
Here is it, a secular, modern-day sermon. Artay’s advice:
“If we see someone is angry we should know that he needs some touching and kind words. If somebody is disappointed & hopeless he needs to be appreciated. If someone is jealous he needs to be seen. If somebody complains he needs to be heard and if somebody is bitter he needs to receive kindness. And if someone oppresses then he needs someone to love him. If somebody is greedy then he needs to be forgiven. And all of these shadows in our spirit & in our heart need love to fall on them like rain falling & falling & falling…”
833 words a day 